Ode to Immanuel Kant
composed and presented aloud on the 286th anniversary of Kant's birth
Along foggy Baltic shores, in centuries gone was found,
amongst pear-plumed steeples and knotted girdles,
Resolute Kant, made humble by late notice,
in sleepy Tuetonic town of Königsberg
Lengthily he speculated into nebulas above- searching, formulating,
and deducing by Leibniz logical laws
Yet lately were his thoughts troubled more by contrast
of philosophie and Newton's universal laws
Upon oft-expected morning sojourns,
which both maintained routine and Kant's virginitee
His careful inquiries would soon chance to find
by trials and turns to considerrings of too reasonable impiety.
Soon his copious deliberations were coarsely intruded
by the fattened skepticism of David Hume
Stunned was he to find yet overlooked that causality protruded
from the cosmos which Leibniz had presumed.
Those cloistered thoughts, long constructed, were swiftly tumbled,
the orderly heavens were loosened and unfixed
Sun and Moon ceased assisting, a new star stirred and rumbled,
the Copernican Revolution began and mixed.
Hibernating went Kant so swiftly,
Ten restless years he descended into critical slumber
Dancing and wrestling. Dialectics and antinomies.
Kant mined cognition for a glittering intuition and a pure number.
Unceasing phenomena, unknowable noumena,
Kant marooned, a perceiver adrift in Space and Time.
Thence was conceived of- Luminous Ego!
The transcendental self , the source of good will mine.
Three Critiques thereafter followed: Pure, Practical, and Judgmental,
to worldwide bafflement and unexpected fame.
Immanuel now exalted, his memory now hallowed,
of comprehension, a poet laureate he is acclaimed.
All concepts' hidden passageways, the self's innermost chambers,
once guarded wisdom now made known.
A self-conscious synthesis of man's intuitions; both space extensive and time eternal,
all within the mind as Kant has shown.
Napoleon's ambition spirited away, Holy Roman Empire surrendered; astounding!
Ideas of Reason disperse through all lands.
Philosophic youths gaily awaken, set now firmly on sure grounding,
an unforeseen synthesis now in hands.
Forevermore Hume's skepticism has retreated,
amoralism and solipsism conclusively expire in very fitting and loathsome ignominy.
Kant has buttressed starry vaults with new permanence,
demonstrated reason's prowess and transparency,
His triumph is the minds evermore undimmed sublimity.